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Things that NEVER happened on Star Trek


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Growler67
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Things that NEVER happened on Star Trek
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:52 pm Rate Post

1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

2. The Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.

4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life-form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.

5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.

6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some chocolate.

12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. How-ever, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.

13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.

15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

19. Kirk or Archer uses restraint and does NOT nail the hot green alien chick.

20. The super advanced inertial compesator that keeps them all from being liquified by acceleration also prevents the crew from being tossed about the bridge during an attack.

21. Bones says "He's going to make a full recovery, Jim!".

22. They encounter an alien race so strange even Riker won't sleep with it.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:16 am Rate Post

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

No 4 and No 22...classic!
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:37 am Rate Post

nice one big grin
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:51 pm Rate Post

Nice write up but don't most of this happen in TNG?
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:37 am Rate Post

23. One of the "red shirts" from TOS actually returns from an away mission............unless it was Ensign Ricky.

24. Wesley performs an experiment that doesn't bring the ship to the edge of imminent disaster.

25. Kirk will catch a STD from a green chick. (though likely to get caught by the biofilter in the transporter if the encounter occurred while disembarked)

26. They hail an alien vessel and hear, "For English ... press one.."



ETA: Additions to the original list
Last edited by Growler67 on Wed Jul 01, 2009 5:42 pm; edited 4 times in total
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:14 pm Rate Post

I thought it was Ensign Rilely .
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:40 am Rate Post

Edit irrelevant material.
Last edited by Age on Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:51 pm Rate Post

Growler67
I just added this to my website and gave you credit. Those were quite funny!
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:11 pm Rate Post

Age @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 1:14 pm wrote:
I thought it was Ensign Rilely .



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:48 am Rate Post

nice find
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 4:15 pm Rate Post

Ah! The Guy in blue with the pointy ears lol
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 4:54 pm Rate Post

I thought it was Riley though but that was the Ireish guy who went mad.
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:18 pm Rate Post

There was probably an ensign Riley - it's not like they didnt go through a fair few ensigns....one of them must mathematically certainly have been a Riley!
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:15 pm Rate Post

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:22 pm Rate Post

LOL NEVER TAKE THAT JOB! ROLF lol
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